from the homicidal bitchin’ that goes down in every kitchen

Take for granted that, when you give a man money and freedom for the first time (post college), he will either (1) live like a child or (2) live worse than a child, acting out all his repressed fantasies. I think about this every time I sit down to the lunch I pack myself at [...]

everybody knows that you’re in trouble; everybody knows what you’ve been through

“You should join Twitter!” “I can’t.” “Why not?” “If I had another outlet for self-indulgent blurbs, I’d have nothing to write about.” . . . Thanks to everyone who came out to Asgard last night for my birthday. I appreciate all your shout-outs and dedications. I reserve a special spotlight for Doug, the only man [...]

if every word I said could make you laugh I’d talk forever

So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started watching Mad Men, every single episode has been better than the episode before it. So that means that every single episode that I see, that’s the best episode of Mad Men ever. What about the last episode? Was the last [...]

I’m all lost in the supermarket

You people show an inordinate interest in the food I eat, so here’s an update: Salad: I discovered the $3.50 bag of salad at Shaw’s and fell in love. $3.50 gets me at least three meals’ worth of salads, making it cheaper than any salad I could buy at a restaurant. And the bag begins [...]

pattycake, pattycake, I’m the baker’s man

Answer the questions in this post and I will reward you with spices from Araby, silks from Cathay. * * * I did more than just witness a wedding this past Saturday, of course. I hit up the Union Square Farmer’s Market for old time’s sake, buying fresh basil and haggling over a ciabatta loaf. [...]

now she’s with one of my good time buddies, drinking in some cross town bar

#: Unless something changes, I may end up doing karaoke on three consecutive nights this week. I may have a Problem that needs Care. #: I’m almost done with Scrabble Scrabulous on Facebook. The idea seemed cool enough – play a low-pressure game of Scrabble Letter Tiles with your friends. Let the computer do the [...]

if I was Santa Claus, I’d bake up a feast

Abstract: I did what strangers on the Internet told me to do and it paid off. Document: Last week, meandering through the last Star Market in Watertown, I saw whole chicken breasts on sale for a sweet deal. An experimenting mood struck me, so I bought a couple pounds. I also bought some flavorful mixings [...]

if you like making love at midnight

(1) Has January felt like a long month to anyone else? I think back on some of the big things I’ve done recently and they’ve all happened in 2008. Not that I’m complaining; I prefer to stretch each second between here and the grave as long as possible. But it’s hard to believe there’s still [...]

on a wave of mutilation

Okay, this entry seems to have brought out the healthy food gurus, all judgin’ on my easy-bake lifestyle. Like I said, I’m open to being shown the error of my ways – but you’ve got to back your side up. So, open to all comers: provide me a recipe that: Takes 30 minutes or less [...]