best of 2007

Best Entries of 2007:


buying a tape puts work on my odometer: running out of gas on 93 South

24×06: The First Four Hours: Are 24‘s “politics” inspiring real-life political debate?

My Style’s Protected by Heat Shields and Ceramics: What I’d hoped would be a continuing series, but I frankly ran out of anecdotes. Regardless, a Tale of the Brain Trust and its experiments with Starcraft.

I’m not as young as I look, girl; I’m old school: I plagiarize heavily from Neal Stephenson in talking about OS switching


better be a household name: In which I ask a very important entymological question? (The answer, by the way, is “Stankonia”)


Think of the tender things that we were working on: I have a dumb idea about how history should be taught

feeling all alone without a friend you know I feel like dying: I ladle hate onto Stephen Brust’s The Phoenix Guards and L. Neil Smith’s The Probability Broach

everybody’s at disadvantage speaking with their second language: My thoughts on America’s Next Top Model

tarzan and jane went swingin’ on a vine: I complain about radio edits of pop songs

so don’t you lock up something that you wanted to see fly: my trip to the dentist.


baroque moved you; you loved mozart: The annotated Dennis Miller

and these children that you spit on: I go off on National Review’s unofficial responses to the Virginia Tech massacre

all you want to do is ride around, sally: My cousin’s wedding in Orlando

I’m on the straight line when the man comes around: on the two kinds of dumb – the kind that comes from being uneducated, and the kind that comes from being too educated


wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend: my experiences on the 48 Hour Film Project

now listen closely to what I say: my one and only auto accident in my life, by way of a Mother’s Day anecdote

so I made a big mistake: The hot dog flowchart


soul radiation in the dead of night; love in the middle of a firefight: I get in touch with my Hunter S. side

You Shall Not Side With The Great Against The Powerless: “No one gets that worked up over civil procedure.”

you’ll see your problems multiply: Depeche Mode haiku day

doctor doctor, gimme the news: I just can’t stop talking about health care


and he’s trading in his Chevy for a Cadillac-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack: My first impressions of Union Square

when you’re ready we can share the wine: “If you were an evil mastermind, you couldn’t come up with a better way to distract me for two hours than to say, ‘Hey, perich! Some guy’s talking about the economics of the RPG industry! I want to hear what you think!'”

nine, nine, nine for the lost god: The Pizza Hut P’ZONE and the birth of “awesrageous”

so don’t you lock up something that you wanted to see fly: my first time at South Street Barbers

well it happens out in vegas, it happens in n’orleans: I rant about licensing

planning for the apocalypses: I psych myself out


it’s all right; there comes a time: I answer some controversial questions.

my friend’s from college, they’re all married now: and ‘ wedding, Part 1.

don’t you never, ever pull my lever: Part 2.

I can’t hear you; I said, what’s cooler than being cool?: Part 3.


there’s always room in life for this: I do yoga for the first time ever.

when every single meeting with his so-called superior is a humiliating kick in the crotch!: Bizarro

how can you refuse it?: When people tell me to “never forget” on September 11th, these are the sort of things I remember.

and I follow the speed in the starlight: Interpol live.

’cause when I shoot the gift I shoot to kill: ten hip hop heresies.

didn’t know I was chillin’ with a loaded gun: here’s what a shooting day for The Waste Land looked like.


I have always depended on the kindness of strangers: the new roommate.

I told you I was trouble: “An institution is not one thousand people all conspiring to do evil. An institution is one million people with no incentive to do good.”

if you can’t make it, stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive: the road to black belt.

his palms are sweaty,/A>: the epic rap battle between and I.

I’ve been running monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday: the cast of The Waste Land nearly gets arrested.

why’d you say hallelujah when it means nothing to ya?: An open letter to Senator John Cornyn.

this radio station is named … kowalski: “instruments only.” “dance of death.”

dry summer, then comes fall: the family visits Boston.

I want so badly to believe that there is truth and love is real: the outline of my future self-help book.


for I can see inside your head: a decent anecdotal weekend.

I see a woman in the night with a baby in her hand: the Saudi judiciary and New York Jets fans.

my father sits at night with no lights on; his cigarette glows in the dark: Fuck Senator John McCain (R-AZ).

seven: this rule is so underrated: it’s a survey, but I reveal some interesting things here.


if you could read my mind, love: the best books of the 50 I read in 2007

my mathematical mind can see the breaks: I rant about Bush’s mortgage freeze plan

drive in, drive out, I’m leaving: my epic drive home in the December 13th blizzard

I guess that I should probably leave right now: my epic dash through BWI


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