and you may tell yourself: this is not my beautiful house!

Dear Yahoo! News,

These were your “top stories” on Tuesday, August 26th.

These were your “top stories” on Wednesday, August 27th.

And these were your “top stories” on Thursday, August 28th.

In that time, Russia has formally recognized the sovereignty of the breakaway Georgian rebels. Major League Baseball has adopted instant replay for close home run calls. A Sudanese plane was hijacked. Dr Dre’s son was found dead in bed (no apparent foul play). A tropical storm passed through the Gulf of Mexico.

You know. Trivial shit like that.

There are not five equally compelling stories to tell about the DNC every day. I would submit there’s not even one compelling story at the DNC – everyone in America has known that Barack Obama will lead the Democratic ticket for months now – but I’m a bit of a cynic. So I allow the need to post an occasional story. But not five “top stories” per day. Every day.

Get your act together, Yahoo, or I’m telling Carl Icahn to fire your CEO. He’ll do it, too. He’s waiting on my call, I promise.

Professor Coldheart


One Response

  1. Might I just say, as a non-American:

    Yankee soldier
    He wanna shoot some skag
    He met it in cambodia
    But now he cant afford a bag

    Yankee dollar talk
    To the dictators of the world
    In fact its giving orders
    An they cant afford to miss a word

    Im so bored with the u…s…a…
    But what can I do?

    Yankee detectives
    Are always on the tv
    cos killers in america
    Work seven days a week

    Never mind the stars and stripes
    Lets print the watergate tapes
    Ill salute the new wave
    And I hope nobody escapes

    Im so bored with the u…s…a…
    But what can I do?

    Move up starsky
    For the c.i.a.
    Suck on kojak
    For the usa

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