I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now

Sorry to cut and run, guys, but they’re firing up the time portal and I’m about to jump sixteen years into the past.

Quick question, while we’re on the subject: what three pieces of advice would you give your twelve-year-old self?*

* “Invest in Google” doesn’t count.


2 Responses

  1. 1. The reason your classmates will get so much better at sports and talking to girls than you will over the next eight years has to do with the staggered timing of puberty’s onset and nothing else. So please, try not to worry so much about it.

    2. You know how Mom and Dad are always on your case about your anti-social obsession with movies, television, music and comic books and worry that you’ll never make friends because of it? They’re wrong. Every single one of your hundred or so friends from high school through early adulthood can be traced to a mutually obsessive interest in one of those things, so cultivate it.

    3. In a few years you’ll be going to an all-boys high school in the city. Hang out around the college campuses downtown, especially Emerson. Talk to the slim girls smoking cigarettes outside, bum one if you need a conversation starter (it’s OK, we’re not at all prone to addiction, it turns out). Then maybe you won’t be quite so disadvantaged in college (see #1).

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