eight days a week is not enough to show I care

Browsing through random comics on XKCD the other day uncovered this old gem:


No one should expose me to ideas like this.

As much as I love creative ideas, sweeping gestures and damning the details, I also like tinkering with fiddly numbers to make things come out different. So when someone tells me that 6×28 = 7×24, I start doing some additional factoring. So then I wonder: what other weeks can I make?

The Eight-Day Week: Sleep for six hours, then wake for fifteen.

If you start this by going to bed at midnight on Sunday/Monday, you’ll be up by 6:00 and at work as usual. Next morning, you’ll be up by 3:00 AM, but you can still leave work at 5:00 PM and be in bed by 6:00. Unusual but not unreasonable.

The day-cycle gets a little odd from then on, as you’re up at midnight on the third day – what the pagans would call “Wednesday.” You’ll need to leave work early that day, as you have to be in bed by 3:00 PM. If your boss makes a fuss, tell him you were up at midnight and in work by 1:30 AM. This will be true, albeit unsettling.

Fourth day: up at 9:00 PM, still “Wednesday” to those seven-day slackers. Crank out another fifteen hours of productivity, then pass out at noon. On the fifth day, you’ll wake up at 6:00 PM, do a full night’s work, and then tuck yourself in at 9:00 AM on the dot. I suggest buying some blackout curtains on the ride home.

But now the true benefits of the eight-day week emerge: a three-day weekend! On day six, you’ll wake up at 3:00 PM, just as folks at the office are entering their Friday slump and checking their watches. You can stay up until 6:00 AM, partying with the best of them! Then it’s time for another six hours of sleep, waking up by noon on Saturday – just in time for brunch, most of the stores to be open, and a pleasant weekend. Stay up another fifteen hours and go to bed at 3:00 AM. The ability to party late into the night two nights in a row should impress the few friends you have left. You get 9:00 AM until midnight on Sunday to finish off your week, and then start all over.

I’m not sure what the eight-day week improves over the seven-day standard. But it has to do something.


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