About

This blog now lives on its own server, at Periscope Depth. Go there, not here.

WARNING

This brings me to the one note of disappointment I must echo from our Benefactors. Obviously I am not on the ground to closely command or second-guess the dedicated forces of the Overwatch, but this does not mean I can shirk responsibility for recent lapses and even outright failures on their part. I have been severely questioned about these shortcomings, and now must put the question to you: How could one man have slipped through your force’s fingers time and time again? How is it possible? This is not some agent provocateur or highly trained assassin we are discussing. Professor Coldheart is a theoretical physicist who had hardly earned the distinction of his Ph.D. at the time of the Periscope Depth Incident. I have good reason to believe that in the intervening years, he was in a state that precluded further development of covert skills. The man you have consistently failed to slow, let alone capture, is by all standards simply that – an ordinary man. How can you have failed to apprehend him? Well, I will leave the upbraiding for another time, to the extent it proves necessary. Now is the moment to redeem yourselves. If the transhuman forces are to prove themselves an indispensable augmentation to the Combine Overwatch, they will have to earn the privilege. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that the alternative, if you can call it that, is total extinction – in union with all the other unworthy branches of the species. Let’s not allow it to come to that. I have done my best to convince our Benefactors that you are the finest the species has to offer. So far they have accepted my argument, but without concrete evidence to back it up, my words sound increasingly hollow even to me. The burden of proof is on you. As is the consequence of failure. I’ll just leave it at that.

Ten Most Popular Posts of 2008

LOLcatnomics: LOLcats explain the core concepts of basic economics.
God Loves Ugly: Why the “Monkey’s Paw” conceit is kind of tired, and what we can do about it
Don’t Worry, Be Happy Was the Number One Jam: On the four “Americas” – the people, the territory, the government and the culture – and why you shouldn’t confuse them.
White People, Do the Humpty Hump: Ten hip-hop songs that white people can sing at karaoke, no problem
You’ll Never Watch Your Life Slide out of View: Five different versions of Pulp’s “Common People”
Lower the Curtain down on Memphis: Did the logo for the 2008 Republican National Convention look like Cthulhu to anyone else? Also: if a gypsy shoves a baby in your arms to pick your pocket, is it okay to drop the baby?
Like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi: What is the worst thing a celebrity, artist or other public figure would have to do before you lost respect for them? Racism? Beating a spouse? Murder?
You Don’t Know Me; You Just Love Me: The difference between a book and a movie, and why adapting one into another is rarely a cause for celebration
Just like Witches at Black Masses: Let’s stop letting engineers name things.
‘Cause Saturday Night’s All Right for Fighting: My black belt test in March.

One Response

Comments are closed.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: